Category Archives: Being crap

Another new beginning…

Seriously.

I really do take the cake. Again not going to delete evidence of my lack of commitment and general crapness. In fact, I have even moved it. Not for the interest of anyone really, but as fulfillment of my own little promise to myself not to run away from my mistakes and failings.

A lot has changed since the last commercial break.

I am feeling relatively stable, while still feeling like me and not a malfunctioning robot! Hurrah!

I graduated! Double hurrah!

I forced my formerly-almost-agoraphobic arse on a solo holiday in a foreign country where they spoke two languages, neither of which were mine!  I am almost as proud of this as I am of my degrees.

My psychologist and psychiatrist would have been proud of me. I say would have, because it’s been almost two years since I’ve seen either of them. Whoops. So, you see, it’s not just blogging that I’m crap at keeping up with. I am still in touch with my GP, so I’m not living on the wildside or anything, just not being super-great.

So anyway. I’ve decided that total self-examination might not be for me. Over-indulgence yes. So I’ve decided that the blog should not just be about my little journey, which if you’ve ever had mental health issues you know is never actually ‘over’, but about the random shit that occupies my thoughts. Maybe this will lead to an increased frequency of posts. May be not, but I’ll give it a red hot go,

x themostserene


Begin again…

I’m not sure how this happened. It’s been six months since I last posted. I’m crap at this. Ho hum.

Actually, I lie. I know how this happened. Not relying solely on medication is hard work. Bureaucracy is gonna make me jump through hoops. I haven’t got better over night.

Bugger.

So I’ll start again. Like I did before, and know I’ll do again. I was just going to wipe the damn thing and pretend it never existed, but I felt maybe that wasn’t being honest to myself. It wasn’t like I meant to give up, so the huuuuuge gap is still part of the journey. One I might not be able to reflect on in great detail, it’s true, but that is what’s true — and so it stays: a gap, a blank, all the little baby steps and boring details, that would look like a huge achievement if I had only started yesterday.

But I’m going to try better. Promise. I’ll try not to give in to the stereotype that persons with bipolar disorder always start things, but never finish. I’m just going to admit to it.

I feel better now I’ve decided this. One more baby step,

x themostserene


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